Don't Poop and Text

"MrDakka" (mrdakka) 01/16/2019 at 20:47 • Filed to: Shitpost

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How many oppos are actually shaved apes pretending to be human? Do you text/browse/email/etc while on the toilet?

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Is your battle station built around the toilet?

For Sweden > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 20:55

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Barbarians

Cultured people read magazines on the toilet

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 20:55

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I bill hourly and per email/whatever.  This means that I can have profitable bathroom breaks

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 21:00

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Morning Poop Routine:

* Check work email and calendar

* Check personal emails

* Check Oppo

* Check for new videos in Youtube Subscriptions to save for watch later list

* Check Autotrader and Cars.com to see if new cars have turned up in saved searches, and if prices have dropped on save cars that I will never buy for another 3 years.

* If I have some more time to kill, browse Instagram feed

What I do not do is check the news because I want to start off my day in a good mood.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 01/16/2019 at 21:05

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All that? Eat more fibre

ttyymmnn > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 21:15

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I do many crosswords on my phone while engaged in the act of defecating. The Newsday  Saturday Stumper is my favorite. 

shop-teacher > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 21:24

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I absolutely text/browse/email /post to Oppo while pooping. In fact, I'm doing it right now . Poop does not transfer electronically, so relax.

Dogsatemypants > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 21:26

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Almost exclusively. I don’t fuck around with my phone unless I am stuck somewhere and BORED

Dogsatemypants > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 01/16/2019 at 21:27

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You sir, poop too much.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/16/2019 at 21:38

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metamucil everyday. I like to take my time.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Dogsatemypants 01/16/2019 at 21:38

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No I just take time to poop. I need my “ me time"

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 01/16/2019 at 21:41

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I know, me too (not to disclose any info) but it is a rare opportunity to just sit in somewhere quiet

glemon > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 21:41

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Absolutely, my wife likes her phone as much as I like mine, she doesnt, I don’t get it. However, when I hear someone talking on the phone in a public restroom while squeezing out gas and grinders in their stall it  freaks me the hell out.

facw > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 21:45

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No device use on the toilet. Frankly if I had my phone, I’d be wiping before I had time to open a page most of the time. It’s weird to me that people are in there long enough to do anything on their devices, unless they are mostly just taking a break (in which case, a bathroom seems a pretty unappealing place for that).

Wacko > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 21:53

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Well you can’t shit post without the shit

Stef Schrader > MrDakka 01/16/2019 at 22:41

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As an avid consumer of FP content , I would just like to point out that we all work from home sometimes, even the home office dudes.

Nature’s gonna call when nature’s gonna call.

Speaking just for myself here: I know from ( ahem) “ personal experience” that a non -insignificant number of posts have been made from the throne.

Now , m onarchy is an inherently unjust and backwards system of rule, so you know exactly what throne I mean.

The worst work- time I had the turbo-turds was during the championship-deciding F1 race. Last of the season! It’s all decided here! Today! And you don’t dare be late, so prewrite or die, even if that means your stream goes with you to take care of business.

Happy reading!

P.S.: It happens on Oppo, too, but mainly out of boredom instead of a looming deadline.

Stef Schrader > glemon 01/16/2019 at 22:53

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THANK YOU. That is the WORST.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > MrDakka 01/17/2019 at 06:47

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If typing on the internet is blowing it out your arse...then that is what I do.

shop-teacher > glemon 01/17/2019 at 07:22

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Yes, that is the line which should never be crossed.

Roundbadge > glemon 01/17/2019 at 07:57

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Yesterday at work, one of our corporate VPs walked into the restroom as I was about to leave, and started a loud conversation while urinating...into a toilet rather than a urinal as well. I was out of the room when he finished, but I’d assume he also flushed while talking.

I understand busy people don’t worry about decorum while trying to get things done...but water feature sounds and echoes would tell me that they really don’t care about this conversation if I heard it coming through the phone at me.

StndIbnz, Drives a MSRT8 > MrDakka 01/17/2019 at 09:17

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I play games and surf Instagram.

nerd_racing > MrDakka 01/17/2019 at 09:20

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Not Oppo, but facebook and sharing memes, you betcha!

MrDakka > facw 01/17/2019 at 09:39

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Those are my thoughts as well. It just seems odd to me that people actively is their mobile devices while pooping. I mean how long are these poops?